Broken Things to Mend Page 8

  “No. I was hoping you’d found them.”

  “Not yet.”

  “Silas, it’s dark now. What if she’s lost? Would Nubia be able to find her way home?” Aunt Nancy’s voice trembled.

  Silas felt the same concern his aunt did, but he knew he had to remain calm. “We’ll find them. Don’t worry.”

  “It’s getting cold.”

  “This would be a lot easier if she had a phone.”

  “You know she doesn’t have any money. And she’s been pretty stubborn about me not paying for anything extra.”

  “I know. I’ll call you when I have news.”

  “Thank you, dear. I appreciate your help.”

  Silas circled back around and began canvassing the streets again, first the east to west streets, then the north and south streets, one after another, until he’d driven all over town. He had been out looking for almost an hour, and with every change in the digital clock on the dashboard, his anxiety grew. His thoughts were a tangle. One minute, he wanted to chew the girl out for worrying his aunt, the next he prayed she and Nubia were safe. A few times he decided when he found her, he’d haul her straight to the bus station and send her back where she came from, wherever that was. He’d even pay for the ticket to be rid of her. Then he realized he’d be sad not to see her again.

  At the end of Main Street, instead of heading out of town, he turned onto the road that led to the high school.

  There in his headlights were Celia and Nubia.

  Silas let out a deep breath and pulled to the side of the road. Celia must have recognized his Jeep because she kept walking toward the headlights. Silas picked up the phone, and as he watched them approach, he called his aunt.

  “I’ve got them.”

  “Oh good. Hurry home.”

  “We’re on our way.”

  Celia opened the passenger door of the Jeep. “Are you here to give us a ride home?”

  Silas wanted to shout at her and demand answers, but even in the dim light of the dashboard, he could see that Celia had been crying. He wouldn’t add to whatever trouble she had faced tonight. At least not at the moment.

  Silas moved a jacket and thermos from the seat next to him and motioned to the back. “You can p—” Silas slammed the steering wheel as his lips folded on the sound and started over. “Nubia can go in back.”

  He reached over and pulled the lever to move the seat forward, and Nubia scrambled into the back seat. He didn’t immediately put the Jeep in gear when Celia closed the door. All the anger and frustration he had felt as he searched for her drained away as he looked at the sad girl beside him. Suddenly he felt compelled to protect her from whatever was causing her pain.

  “Are you okay?” As he asked, he gently touched her arm. Celia flinched like she’d been snapped with an elastic band. Had she thought he would hit her? “Sorry,” he said under his breath.

  Celia turned toward the window as he put the Jeep in gear and headed to Aunt Nancy’s.

  Nancy was waiting on the porch when Silas pulled into the driveway. She hurried across the yard and opened Celia’s door while Silas let Nubia out of the back.

  “I was so worried about you,” Aunt Nancy said and put her arm through Celia’s, guiding her into the house.

  Silas followed behind them and stood inside the door, twisting his beanie in his hands.

  “You must be freezing,” she said and led Celia to the couch where she covered her with a blanket. “Can I get you something? Are you hungry? I have some chili I can warm up.”

  Celia shook her head. “No thank you. I’m sorry I worried you. I didn’t mean to be out so late.”

  Nancy noticed Celia’s tear-streaked face and patted her leg. “Did something happen to you?”

  Celia pulled the blanket tightly around her. “No, I needed to walk. But then I found a church.”

  “You’ve been at church?”

  Celia nodded. “I’m sorry I was gone so long,” she said again.

  Nancy shook her head. “Don’t be. I’m glad you’re all right. I can tell you’re upset about something. Can I help?”

  Nancy saw Celia glance at Silas who still stood by the door before she answered.

  “I don’t think so.”

  Nancy could tell Celia didn’t want to talk and wondered if it was because Silas was there. With a slight inclination of her head, she signaled that he should leave.

  “Thank you for finding her, Silas.”

  “Yes, thank you,” Celia said.

  “Okay.” Silas didn’t look happy about being dismissed, but he pulled the beanie on and turned to the door. “Let m-me know if you need me,” he said.

  Nancy wasn’t sure if he was talking to her or to Celia, but she answered anyway. “We will.”

  When the door had closed behind him, Nancy put her arm around Celia and was grateful when the girl melted into her shoulder. She rubbed her arm gently and waited for Celia to speak first.

  A couple of minutes passed before Celia took a deep breath and began to talk. “I needed to think. And pray.”

  “Of course.” When Celia didn’t continue, Nancy asked, “Did it help?”

  “I think so.” Celia wiped a tear from her cheek.

  “You know if you’d like to talk about it, I’m here.”

  “I know.” Celia sighed. “Maybe sometime. But not yet.”

  Nancy swallowed her disappointment but held her tongue. Something told her it would be a mistake to push too hard.

  “I’m really tired. I think I’ll go to bed.”

  “Are you sure you don’t want something to eat first?”

  “Thanks, but my stomach’s not feeling too great.”

  Nancy held the blanket that had covered Celia and watched her leave the room. Long after she’d disappeared into her bedroom, Nancy looked at the dark hall, feeling helpless.

  Celia noticed a change in Silas after the night he had spent looking for her. Even though she had rebuffed him when he had tried to comfort her, he came around more. He often came by after work and stayed for dinner. He usually lingered after the meal and worked on a puzzle or watched something on television with them. He didn’t say much when she was around, but that was probably because when he did, he often struggled to get out his words.

  But he was different with his aunt. One evening Celia stopped in the hall and listened as Silas and Nancy had a long conversation about how the unusually dry spring could affect the forest. She leaned against the wall and listened.

  “Adam keeps calling to check on rainfall, like if he calls, it’ll go up.”

  “It’s been such a dry spring. I can understand why he’s worried,” Nancy said.

  “He had two men nearly die in the Long Draw Fire. He doesn’t want another year like that one.”

  “I know how he feels. I don’t like it when you’re out there fighting fires. It’s my least favorite part of your job.”

  “We’ve contracted a good crew from First Strike for this year. And m-maybe we’ll get some good rain before it gets too hot. We have the forest in good shape though. We cleared out some of the old fire breaks while we were doing the thinning.”

  She was surprised at how easily he spoke. She had figured he stuttered around everyone, but he’d only stumbled on his words once during the entire conversation with his aunt.

  “Stop eating that or there won’t be enough left for dinner.”

  “Just making sure it’s good.”

  “You know it’s good.”

  Someone ran water in the sink. “Has she told you anything?” Silas asked. Celia held her breath as the conversation turned to her. “About what was wrong?”

  Nancy’s voice became quieter. “No. I keep hoping she’ll confide in me, but whatever it is, she’s keeping it to herself. She went to church last Sunday. Maybe she’s talking to someone there.”

  A sadness filled Celia at Nancy’s words. She wanted to trust her. But what if Nancy found out and thought less of her? She had once heard someone describe shame
as a tangled blanket that you couldn’t find your way out from under, but to Celia it felt more like a net trap. No matter how hard she searched for a way to free herself, she remained stuck. She would have preferred a blanket. At least then she wouldn’t be able to see the scorn and disappointment from others.

  She could hide under a blanket. A net left her exposed.

  Why had she let this happen to her? Why hadn’t she screamed or fought harder? Why hadn’t she found somewhere else to live the first time she realized Cassidy’s friends were losers? She shouldn’t have allowed herself to be in this situation.

  Nancy had been kind to her, wanted Celia to trust her, but would she feel that way if she knew? There was only one person Celia could trust, one confidante. God. But He had to love her no matter what. And He couldn’t kick her out of Nancy’s house.

  Celia had enjoyed hearing Silas talk almost stutter-free when it was about his job. She didn’t want to stand here and listen to them talk about her. She took a step around the corner.

  “It smells great in here,” she said. And it did. Celia hadn’t felt like eating much all day and the biscuits in the oven were making her mouth water.

  “Sloppy joe’s on biscuits. That’s how my mom always made them,” Nancy said.

  “They’re the b—” Silas’s lips collapsed on the sound. “. . . best,” he said.

  “Good. Cause I’m really hungry.”

  Celia ate three sloppy joes and might have gone for a fourth if no one would have known. She was eating for two, she thought and put her hand on her stomach, wondering again how big her baby was.

  There was so much to think about. She knew she should think about seeing a doctor. She also knew she wouldn’t be able to keep this a secret forever. Right now there were no visible signs, but a few months down the road, it would be impossible to hide. Would she have to leave? What would she do with the baby? She couldn’t keep it. She was alone with nothing. She couldn’t even support herself. How would she do right by a person who depended on her completely? And Damien. Would the baby have Damien’s pointed nose? When it smiled would it look like Damien’s sneer? Would she think about that horrible night every time she looked at it? That wouldn’t be fair at all.

  Maybe the doctor could help her arrange to give the baby up for adoption.

  “. . . won’t you, Celia?”

  Celia looked up to see Nancy and Silas looking at her. What had she missed?

  “I’m sorry. What did you say?”

  “You’ll go with us to the rodeo and dance, won’t you?”

  Nancy must have been able to tell Celia had no idea what they were talking about. “The Sisters Rodeo. Next week. You’ll go with us, right?”

  “Um, I guess so.”

  Nancy laughed. “You didn’t hear a word we said, did you?”

  Silas was smiling and Celia laughed. “I’m afraid I didn’t.”

  “The annual rodeo,” Silas said. “There’ll b-be things going on almost every day next week.”

  Nancy looked excited. “There’s a bull-riding event—that’s pretty wild—and the night before the main event there’s a dance and barbecue. We can go to all of it. People come in from all over. And we get cowboys from just about everywhere.”

  “I’ve never been to a rodeo. I don’t know if I’ve ever even seen one on television.”

  “Then you’re in for a treat,” Nancy said. “They’re fun. Bucking broncos, bull-riding, barrel racing.”

  “Will you be in it?” Celia asked, looking at Silas.

  Silas grinned and shook his head. “No way.”

  “The year before Silas’s folks died, he was in a kiddie rodeo. Rode a sheep for more than eight seconds. His mom was cheering like crazy, but his dad stood there fiddling with his keys while he watched him. I teased them about that. It was like they’d switched roles.”

  Nancy had told Celia that Silas’s parents had died in a car accident, but they’d never talked about them. Celia watched Silas’s face to see if it troubled him, but his expression was pleasant.

  “Can you imagine how he’d have been if I’d been on a b-bull?” Silas was smiling even though he’d almost caught on every b.

  “I’ve volunteered to help with the food at the dance,” Nancy said.

  “Can I sign up to help?” Celia asked.

  “Sure. I’ll give them your name. There’ll be plenty of us helping so you won’t be stuck putting out cookies or filling punch bowls all night. Silas? You want me to put your name down?”

  Silas shook his head. “I’m already helping with the p-parade.”

  Sisters was different the next week. It was like her twangy boisterous cousin from the Southwest had swapped places with her and couldn’t help talking loud, and showing off her new, boot-clad wardrobe. Silas didn’t make it back from work in time, so Celia and Nancy sat together in the stands and watched an evening of barrel races without him. Horseback riding looked fun, but not the way these girls were flying and certainly not in her condition.

  “Val’s grandson is riding, so I told her I’d mind the store,” Nancy said Wednesday morning. “I told Silas to stop by and pick you up about six.”

  “Oh, that’s okay. If you can’t go, maybe I’ll stick around here and—”

  “Don’t be ridiculous, Celia. It’s the most exciting night of the rodeo. Nothing but bull-riding. You don’t want to miss that.”

  “I don’t?” Celia didn’t know why it would be so bad to miss bull-riding. Nancy laughed.

  “No, you don’t.”

  “Maybe Silas would rather go with someone else.”

  “I already talked to him. You don’t really want me to tell him you’d rather stay home than go with him, do you?”

  “No. I mean he might want to go with a friend or something. He shouldn’t have to babysit me.”

  Nancy gave Celia a playfully stern look and shook her head. “Just be ready at six.”

  Celia knew it wasn’t a date, but there was something about getting ready for an evening with just Silas that felt very different. For the first time since she’d arrived in Sisters, she wished she had something different to wear. Something pretty. This was ridiculous thinking, because she knew Silas certainly wasn’t thinking of this as a date. He seemed to go back and forth between thinking of her as a kid that needed watched after and a potential threat to his aunt. Nancy was surely responsible for this arrangement.

  Even though this wasn’t a date, it was hard not to notice how nice Silas looked when he picked her up. His hair was still damp from an after-work shower and the light blue t-shirt made his eyes even bluer. He looked like a man instead of just a guy. And he smelled good. If he wouldn’t have thought she was crazy, she would have leaned over and breathed in the pine and mountain air smell.

  Celia spoke as Silas pulled out of the driveway. “I’m sorry Nancy roped you into this tonight.”

  Silas smiled. “Roped? Nice choice of words since we’re going to a rodeo.”

  Celia laughed. “I’m serious. I’m sure you’d rather be going with your friends or something.”

  Silas gave her a sideways look. “No. This was m-my idea.”

  A surprising flutter of butterflies started in her stomach. “Oh.” She turned toward the window to hide the smile that forced itself onto her face. She needed to be careful not to read anything into this. He probably felt sorry for her since she knew so few people. But no matter how she tried to talk herself out of the idea that he might want to spend the evening with her, she realized that she hoped he did. He’d been kind to her, especially since the night she’d walked to the church. It had been years since she’d had a real friend and Celia realized she wanted one. She wanted someone to confide in, and although she didn’t feel anywhere near ready to share everything, it felt nice to spend an evening with someone who wanted to hang out with her.

  As the sun neared the tops of the trees, the heat of the day began to cool. The parking lot of the fairgrounds was dusty, but inside the rodeo grounds, the dirt w
as a darker shade of brown and didn’t rise in puffs with every step the way it had everywhere else. They sat down on the bleachers and watched as people arrived and a couple of rodeo clowns carried on in front of them. A few people around them sang to the loud country music playing over the sound system.

  “Too bad Nancy couldn’t come,” Celia said. “She said she likes bull riding the best.”

  “I think Val takes advantage of her,” Silas said, “b-but she keeps saying yes.”

  Celia’s reaction when Silas’s lips pushed together surprised her. She wanted to smooth them out and soften them and take away the pressure that held them there. She remembered the easy way he talked to his aunt and wanted him to talk to her in the same way. She was being ridiculous. She couldn’t reach out and touch him and they weren’t anywhere near close enough for her to tell him what she was feeling.

  What was she feeling? Certainly compassion for the difficulty he faced whenever he wanted to say something, but it was more. She wanted to take away his pain and embarrassment. She wanted to make him comfortable, to make their conversation easy. If it were ever going to happen, she knew it would take time. Would she be around long enough for him to feel at ease with her? She didn’t know because of her own hidden shame.

  The crowd attending for the bull-riding event was louder and rowdier than last night’s barrel racing crowd. People yelled and cheered and gasped together. Eight riders were thrown off before finally a cowboy lasted eight seconds, and when he did, the crowd went crazy.

  “That’s Sp-Sp-Spencer,” Silas said. “Val’s grandson.” He pointed to the chute where a cowboy in a green plaid shirt was getting situated on the bull.

  Celia looked around the stands, but didn’t see Val. Two men opened the gate and the bull raged into the arena, kicking and bucking with all his might. Spencer lasted about two seconds before he was thrown several feet from the angry animal. A clown in a loose red shirt and rainbow suspenders darted in front of the bull, zigzagging toward the opened exit gate, distracting its murderous gaze from Spencer. It charged toward the clown before seeing the gate and trotting away.